Fragments of Self
Artist’s Statement
For this assignment, entitled Persona, I tried to honestly look at my life and the parts I played within society. I came to find that my days were full of forced activity, long hours at the library or at my desk when I just wanted to pass out, go to sleep and possibly never wake up. I also found that I was fragmented, torn into pieces of wants, desires, and expectations- both internal and external. Although I present myself, and my life to others as a whole image, someone is driven to achieve above and beyond, someone who has their life figured out and knows where they’re going, I really saw the duality of my existence; one playing the role of expectations, the other completely exhausted and almost incapable of functioning daily activities.
As an inspiration, I looked at the work of Cornelia Hediger, where I found the idea for panel photography. With each section its own photograph, it allowed me to be in the image twice without digital photo manipulation. I also liked the distortion felt by the viewer when the photographs didn’t match up. A sort of sea-sickness you can’t put your finger on until you realize the incongruency of the images; a feeling I have often in my own life. The settings for the photographs are ones of my everyday life, where I spend most of my time, my living room, my bedroom, the library, and an anonymous hallway. The fifth photograph of the series (not posted on this blog) is in the bathroom. Vulnerable to others and to myself, my two personas finally confront one another. While both are a bit shy to expose themselves fully, one has a look of disgust and the other of embarrassment. Although this photograph was originally a little unintended, I feel it fits with the rest. Either emotion in the bathroom shot can be directed at either persona in the rest of the project. I am both annoyed and revolted, ashamed and embarrassed by both my personas.
As in the bathroom shot, this whole project makes me feel rather vulnerable. My photography has always been a hobby, something I do on the side to relieve stress or have fun. I’ve never really turned the camera towards myself in a honest and open manner, to actually express my inner world. Although stressful with the rest of my workload, I do believe it was good for me in the end. Being honest with yourself is always a good thing. Or so I’m told.
